Audio meditation (Jon Kabat-Zinn)

I plan to create audio meditations this year but until then, I’ll occasionally post meditations done by others. Here is a lovely one with Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Listen to the simple instructions–there will be stretches of silence and Jon will come in and remind you to pay attention to the breath.

Enjoy this time for yourself. Simply relax and listen. It’s isn’t selfish to take this time–it’s necessary and deeply nourishing to bring awareness to the present moment, to our body breathing, to our feelings and emotions. It’s right here and now that we learn to make conscious choices about our health and life. The present is the result of the past, and the future is the result of the present, so what better time than now to plant the seeds for health and wellness?

Bring intention to your desire to pay attention to the breath in this meditation– thoughts, memories, feelings and negative self-talk will inevitably occur. No worries. Be kind and loving towards yourself and return to the breath.

Be well.

Summer in a Jar

While writing about comfort foods, Greg Brown’s song, Canned Goods came to mind. Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Peaches on the shelf

Potatoes in the bin

Supper’s ready, everybody come on in

Taste a little of the summer,

Taste a little of the summer,

You can taste a little of the summer

my grandma’s put it all in jar

She cans the pickles, sweet & dill

She cans the songs of the whippoorwill

And the morning dew and the evening moon

‘N’ I really got to go see her pretty soon

‘Cause these canned goods I buy at the store

Ain’t got the summer in them anymore.

http://www.gregbrown.org/gbonent1.html#cannedg

Here food is a gift, connected to the seasons, filled with meaning, nourishing on so many levels. It’s an evocative description of how the food on our plate is connected to the people who plant and harvest it, the insects who pollenate it, the seasons, the elements, the sun, moon and stars, the loving hands that cook and serve it, even the sounds we hear when we eat–all of it laid out on the plate before us.

 

Shouldn’t Comfort Foods… Comfort?

Tamara Adler wrote a well-considered article in the February 2013 issue of Yoga Journal titled, Comfort Redefined, What if eating feel-good food actually made you feel good?

Comfort food has gotten a bad rap. The words comfort food immediately conjure images of high-salt, high-sugar, high-fat foods, i.e. junk foods–modern, highly processed foods laced with chemicals and preservatives. We turn to them for the “numbing effect or fleeting rush, knowing [the] short-lived perks will make us feel bad later on.” And then she wrote something that really made me pause–

“The idea of escaping distress by causing ourselves another kind of distress is ironic of course, but goes deeper than that.” She then describes a story about the Dali Lama, who began crying during an interview. When asked why, he said, “Because you are all so violent to yourselves.”

Ah…how can one not pause reading that? Can we stop doing violence to ourselves by eating in ways that harm? Can we eat to nourish when we are distressed?

pear and plum ©VSpain

Of course, if we pay attention, we may find we need another form of nourishment–exercise, rest, etc. but if we want to eat, can we take up the practice of finding food that would truly nourish us in moments of distress? When we turn to foods for comfort, can we “choose dishes that are an expression of our beliefs, not an exception to them?”

Have you, are you, able to do this? This article has given me some things to consider more deeply. I’ll write more about this “new” idea of comfort foods in the next post. If this makes you think of something you’d like to share, please do.

 

Grace Before Meals

I created this when my sons were little to acknowledge all aspects of eating– to honor the food that was about to nourish us, the beings who toiled to bring it to us, and the forces of nature that make it all possible.

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Thank you earth, wind, fire and water
for bringing this food to our table.
Thank you to the beings who gave their life and time
to bring this food to our table.
May it nourish our souls
as well as our bodies,
as we eat in gratitude and in peace.

Amen

That Muffin Isn’t Going to Solve Your Problem

A friend and I were talking about how, when we are eating mindlessly, we actually think muffins, scones, ice cream (whatever food we crave) is really going to solve our problem(s).

When I ate obsessively, I somehow believed physical food could, in some weird way, fill my emotional needs and spiritual void. During my recovery, I wrote a poem about that odd and fruitless search.

Desire

What truth will I discover in the lettuce
as I peel back each leaf
one mysterious fold after another?

What lies at the core of the apple,
at the heart of the tender artichoke,
beneath the skin of the succulent orange?

What questions will be answered
when I tiptoe to my refrigerator
at midnight–
what will they say
those French beans
those Italian sausages
those Persian figs?

Perhaps the answers lie
in the wilderness of a black forest cake,
at the bottom of the cookie jar
or suspended in hot cocoa
obscured by clouds of whipped cream.

When will the revelations come?

I have crossed craters of english muffins
sailed rivers of butter
and oceans of gravy
consulted countless oracles
in their cold white boxes
and still I am unsatisfied.

My desire consumes me.
I have been gaunt and starving
all my life.

Who’s Suffering More?

During a recent class at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center we discussed suffering. I “compare” my suffering to others, and always feel like my suffering is never as bad as someone else’s. I look at situations like the war in Syria, widespread rape in the Congo etc.; close to home, I compare myself to friends experiencing great mental, physical and emotional suffering. The outcome: I feel inadequate.

©VSpain- ink & watercolor on paper

The classic Buddhist response to comparing is we have all experienced everything. Comparing is an act of separation as well as an act of imagination– I imagine what others experience, and I even imagine what I experienced! Comparing separates me from my experience and from understanding what someone else is going through. It’s as if I’m saying, “I already know what your suffering feels like.”

I was a compulsive eater and bulimic in my 20’s, lived with depression from college through my 40’s, developed Type 1 diabetes when I was 36–I was abused as a child and in my marriage. My work is to deeply understand my suffering, not avoid or discount it. It takes persistence and diligent practice to be present to our suffering and the suffering of others.

If we suffered as children, we did not have the capacity to understand our situation, to survive we dis-engage and separate, and whatever coping mechanisms we used then usually follow us into adulthood. Binging, purging and restrictive eating can be the legacy.

I spent many years in therapy. Of course it helped, but in retrospect, the hours, weeks, and years I spent talking about the traumatic events of my life were not as helpful as the years I spent–and continue to spend– understanding and taming my mind. Quieting my mind through mindfulness practice has brought more answers and enabled lasting change. For me, answers come out of silence.

Lotus ©VSpain

 

Pause

If I could imprint the importance of one thing it would be the act of pausing before eating. Pausing is at the heart of my own practice–and yet, after all these years, the desire to dive in and eat without stopping still has some compelling element.

balance ©VSpain–clay, tin, ink and collage elements on board

For many, many years it was almost impossible for me to pause when faced with a plate of food, or once I caught sight of a trigger food. It was especially difficult when I was at a party or sharing food with others, I simply couldn’t think, it seemed my entire body was filled with the desire to eat immediately. For a while, I gave up trying to pause before meals but worked to practice mindfulness in other food-related areas. I experimented with raw foods, simplified my diet, researched the beneficial effects of greens and began drinking green smoothies, and experimented with cutting out dairy, wheat and soy products. I still ate a little too fast and sometimes too much, but I was eating better quality foods, and loosing the craving for sweets and the desire to binge.

I worked with impulsivity in other areas of my life–in speech, in relationships, in my work–and slowly, without trying or realizing it, I gained some mastery over my impulsivity. Eventually I circled around to food and how I ate, and discovered that my renewed efforts to pause before eating were bolstered by all the years of work in other areas of my life.

My commitment to align my behavior with my mindfulness practice–to walk the talk–prods me to wake up now.